FanGirls: Moonlight "There's No Such Thing as Vampires" (101)

Moonlight

“There's No Such Thing as Vampires” (Ep 101)
Meet Mick St John. He’s charming. He’s hot. He lives in Los Angeles. He works as a Private investigator. And oh yeah, he’s a vampire.
Original Air Date: Friday, September 28, 2007

“Being a vampire sucks. It's a bad joke, I know, but it's the truth.”

Things kick off with Mick being interviewed by an unknown female reporter (later revealed as Beth). It is cheesy as all get out but on a show about vampires it is wise to set up the ground rules from the start. Rip the Band Aid off and all that.

So in this world, crosses don’t kill, flames and beheading are it. There are hints that exposure to the sun, which makes a vamp feel pretty sick and crappy, might get bad enough to kill. Garlic (similar to the vamps on Blood Ties). No coffins but apparently Mick sleeps in a freezer. Why exactly, who knows but probably because it is light tight, and perhaps cause they prefer to keep cool. Mick also explains his moral code, which is very Wild West with his ‘no women, no children, no innocents, but bad guys beware” stance.

Once we ‘wake up’ (literally) out of the cheese fest we move into pseudo film noir time with Mick in voice over talking about how it starts with a girl. Two actually. The first is a dead girl found by the police. The second and more important is Beth Turner, an Internet news reporter who covers the crime beat for ‘Buzzwire Magazine’ (bonus points her camera guy partner is Marshall Flinkman). Beth and Mick cross paths at the crime scene and it is worth noting that Beth thinks she’s met Mick before. Given Mick’s comments about the past coming around again, I’m thinking it wasn’t at the local Starbucks last week.

And even vamps need friends. Enter Josef. Behind a face that looks like Eric from Entourage is a 400 (give or take a decade) vamp with Donald Trump’s business savvy and a heck of a temper. When this guy says he’ll bite your head off, he means it literally. Like Mick, Josef is not one for messing with the sweet and innocent, but unlike Mick, he doesn’t eat take out. He goes for ‘freshies’ (aka, hot sexy babes willing to feed a couple of his carnal moods). This and Mick’s ‘bleeding heart’ are issues in their friendship but overall they are sympatico. Josef reminds Mick what it means to be a vamp and Mick attempts to remind Josef what it means to be human. Plus Mick is the only person that doesn’t just like Josef cause he’s rich. Josef is particularly unnerved by Beth’s “Vampires in LA” news story because he knows the way humans react, having been through it a time or two. More than one squabble occurs over this issue as the buzz, especially from Buzzwire gets stronger and Josef freaks out more and more, even to the point of suggesting they kill those behind the talk. Not that Mick would let him.

So instead Mick finds himself ‘workin’ for the dead girl trying to solve her murder. He crosses paths with Beth again. First at the girl’s apartment during some illegal breaking and entering by both of them. Then at the funeral where we first see the Prime Suspect, a professor who we later find out from a student hosts his own little vampire cult/study group. On the surface it seems like it is a game played on Emo types to get the girls into bed. But the more Mick learns the more it seems like something nasty is going on under the surface. Something so dangerous that Beth going undercover (against Mick’s better judgement) ends up being a very bad move. Of course Mick turns up just in time to save the day, and the girl (who else guessed that it wasn’t the professor).

The show is rife with the typical TV cliches but at least this go around it played them well. Mick is the dark film noir detective type complete with voice overs. Beth is the pretty blonde but she’s no weakling. She’s smart, pushy etc and as a human she is actually the perfect Girl Friday for Mr ‘I prefer to work nights’. Oh and then there’s that deja vu thing yet to be discovered (by Beth). Plus Josef is just too much fun with his sarcasm and his ‘snoop dog chalice’ digs.

If the show can keep it up, it won’t be long before it is must see tv.

Oh and that deja vu thing. Can’t have a vamp show without something a little twisted going on. What Beth can’t place (but we are told) is that some 20 years ago when she was kidnapped by a crazy woman, it was vampy Mick that saved her, from his ex wife. The same blood sucking ex that turned him into a vamp while consummating their marriage. And then Mick killed Ex Mrs Mick (aka Coraline) when she wouldn’t take no for an answer to her ‘you, me and our stolen baby’ proposal. Like I said, twisted.